Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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