so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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