well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You pole danced in your parka.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
