recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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