why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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