batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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