I'm really into asian looking animals
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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