You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
4 words: hood of his car
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
