at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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