Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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