If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
