Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
