If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
