Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
