Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
