do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
