the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
