and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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