He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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