they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
