the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
