please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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