New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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