the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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