This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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