well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You need a sexual gate keeper
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
