PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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