Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
