I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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