dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
