my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
