omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
