well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
