All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
