today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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