I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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