Just fell off a train. Bad.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
