Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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