Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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