I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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