The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
