Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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