I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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