What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
