I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
