I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize