i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
