I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
