I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
