dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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