Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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