I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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