She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
