Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
