i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
