I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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