My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
