pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There r osticjed everywhere
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
