I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
