I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
