upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
