My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
