I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
