at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sarcasm needs its own font
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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