so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
