Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize