3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
