I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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