the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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