Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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