talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
