So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
