Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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