I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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