I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
