Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
