ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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