Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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