Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sext me about skeletons
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize