no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize