you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
